Customer Service: Can you install
Customer: I can do that. I'm not
very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do
I do first?
Service: The first step is to open
your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, I have, but there
are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install
while they are running?
Service: What programs are running?
Customer: Let me see... I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe
and Resentment.com running right now.
Service: No problem. Love will automatically
erase Pasthurt.exe from your current operating system. It may
remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt
other programs. Love will eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe whit
a module of its own, called Highesteem.exe. However, you have
to completely turn off Grudge.exe and Resentment.com. Those programs
prevent Love from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn
them off. Can you tell me how?
Service: My pleasure. Go to your
Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as
necessary until Grudge.exe and Resentment.com have been completely
Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has
started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
Service: Yes it is. You should receive
a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your Heart.
Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Service: Yes, but remember that you
have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other
Hearts to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops... I have an error
message already. What should I do?
Service: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "Error 412
- Program not run on internal components."
What does that mean?
Service: Don't worry, that's a common
problem. It means that the Love program is set up to run on external
Hearts but has not yet been running on your Heart. It is one of
those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms
it means that you have to "love" your own machine before
it can "love" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Service: Can you find the directory
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Service: Excellent, you are getting
good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Service: You're welcome. Click on
the following files and then copy them to the "Myheart"
directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt, Realizeworth.txt and
Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite conflicting files and
begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
"Selfcriticize.exe" from all directories, and then empty
your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.
Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is
filling up with really neat files. Smile.mpg is playing on my
monitor right now, and it shows that Warmth.com, Peace.exe and
Contentment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart!
Service: Then Love is installed and
running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing
before I go...
Service: Love is freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everybody you are meeting.
They will in turn share it with other people, and they will return
some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your
Service: You're very welcome.
Courtesy: Krupa Darshan, Ranjit Mayekar, USA
Why did the chicken cross the road?